Beverly suggested that we go brunch on Sunday at her much recommended Patisserie of choice, La Gerbe D’or in Paddington. Normally I hate going anywhere near Paddington because the parking situation around that neck of the woods inflames me almost as much as waiting for my ticket to be called at the RTA. It’s just friggin’ horrible. The only time I’ve been to Paddington is to accompany my lovely wife to the Paddington Markets which I HATE!

I’d honestly rather masturbate forcibly over random pictures of rocks from a geology textbook than traipse around Paddington Markets. Anyway, the good thing is that the Patisserie is located near the residential end of Paddington where there’s thankfully less plebs and more parking. So we were golden. As much as I can sometimes take Bevs over enthusiastic, super excited schoolgirl on a sugar high’esque recommendations with a grain of salt, her pictures don’t lie and as such her previous blog posts of the cafe with its creamy, drippy, and eggy savoury delights were enough to get me out of bed bright and early on a Sunday morning. And truth be told give me a bit of a chubby too…..

And so rock up we do. Parking turned out to be a breeze and the Patisserie easy enough to find. A very nondescript, whitewashed hole in the wall, it’s kinda easy to miss if you’re not paying attention and wouldn’t surprise me if it also moonlights as a business after hours that has as a “discrete” back entrance. I was actually surprised by how small it was when I walked in, but that any sense of claustrophobia was quickly overridden by the pastries, breads, and other goodies on display.

On a negative note, it was a pretty warm day with a forecast of 33 degrees, and I found the heat initially quite stifling. There was no A/C present and the only available fan in the room was off, which was really kinda a good thing as it looked like an industrial turbine and was situated right behind Erica’s head. I think better ventilation or air circulation would definitely be a must in the warmer months ahead! And also another thing worth mentioning is that the two unfriendlish, unsmiling asian waitresses really detract from the rustic Frenchie ambiance of it all. With nary a smile from them the whole while and a rather curt manner about them, it really detracted from the overall experience. They could learn a thing or two from La Renaissance or that French Crepe place in Chatswood which is no more :(

Anyway, on with the food!

The Biatchs…..

The Biatchs biatchs….

Unfortunately Bev didn’t have time for make up this morning….

Pate de pantin & Rillettes de Canard

Mushroom Quiche

Onion Tart

Chicken Pie

Tomato Pastry Thingmabob….

Croque Madam

This was, put simply, fucking orgasmic. In fact, I think I had an orgasm whilst having this. I was enjoying it so much that I noticed people were starting to look at me funny but it turns out that was because I accidently left the house without putting any pants on.

The wonderful runny guts of it… so good… it’s like sex with egg on top. Ooey, gooey, creamy, runny, sunny side up sex….

Eggs Benedict. Like Pope Benedict but more tasty and doesn’t look like it’s going to eat your baby….

This was arguably one of the best Eggs Benedict I’ve ever had. The Hollandaise sauce was so rich, creamy, and the poached eggs just done to perfection. Wonderfully runny with nary even a hint of being overcooked. We requested the ham be swapped with Smoked Salmon and it was just perfect.

I think I had a pair of sunnies just like these when I was 5. Wonder what it’s doing here…. oh hang on…

TL after discovering from Erica that I’m hung like a rogue elephant…. True story

TL’s cute Hello Kitty Earring. Even I admitted it’s cute. Mark this day…

The desserts were all very good but still a take it or leave it for me as I’m not a huge dessert person. The Choux Pastry in the Eclair is kinda worth mentioning though because despite it’s time on display, still retained that wonderful semi-crunch and wasn’t at all soggy like at some other places. Also the cold Fruit Tart is one of the better ones I’ve had thus far. I normally never order fruit tarts, I just restrict myself to pinching bites off others. But from those bites, this one seemed to be the best! So maybe my word on that isn’t one that you should take as gospel….

St. Tropez

Coffee Eclair

Chocolate Croissant

Mixed Fruit Tart

And she wonders why I’m always making fun of her….

Me and my harem vs the two gay white dudes, I don’t like their chances of taking over the world before I do….

Repopulation. You’re doing it wrong!