During the 10 hour drive to Melbourne, we eventually came to the conclusion that we just may be able to enter and exit the city over the weekend without running into Paul. I mean, he’s got his own schedule, he’s got his own life. Melbourne is a big place….. what’s he going to do, stake out Erica’s apartment and look out for her coming or leaving? Well…. funny you should think that….
We arrived in Melbourne around 10am or something like that as we’ve been driving all night. I met a very sleepy Emily and was quite surprised at the fact that she doesn’t look anything like Erica at all. I still don’t understand how people can sometimes mistake them for twins or even each other as to me they both look completely different.
Anyhoo, after a small chat with Emily whom then returned to bed, Erica and I decided it was time for us to do the same. It was a long drive and we were tired. However, as would happen during that period of our relationship, the moment we ended up in bed we proceeded to get frisky and do what we normally do. Once done, we decided to take a bubble bath together which is always good relaxing fun. Now this is where it gets interesting.
It was in the midst of our wonderful smelling creme caramel bubble bath (that is, creme caramel scented), that Emily came bashing on the door saying that Paul was downstairs and is coming up! So much for relaxing….
Basically Paul has the keys to the apartment as a) he is still technically Erica’s bf and b) he parks in her building then catches a tram to the city where he has classes. When he arrived to park in the building he spoke to Emily and basically got out of her that Erica had arrived!
We bolted straight out of the tub and for me, this was fucking deja vu all over again!!! Naked again, but this time I didn’t even have time to escape the apartment! Erica told Emily that she was not to let Paul into the apartment as Erica was not ready to talk to him. Thankfully, Emily manage to stall him at the door and convince him that now was not the time. That Erica had just arrived and was asleep after her long drive from Melbourne.
I felt terrible…. this wasn’t how I’d envisioned my first introduction to Erica’s family to be. Once he left, I sat down and proceeded to apologise to Emily about all the trouble we’re causing. Emily understood and was very understanding about the whole thing. She’s caught between a rock and a hard place because she’s friends with Paul as well. And as such, being in a situation where she has no choice but to lie to her friend is not something that would be easy for her.
Now we enjoyed our weekend there, traipsing around town and enjoying all our favourite old haunts. I got to try Erica’s favourite Foie Gras Crab at a chinese restaurant of whose name escapes me and I have to say Wow! Fucking awesome! I can’t believe I never knew about it when I was living here even though I’ve been to the restaurant a few times. Definitely want to go back just for that. Anyway I digress. We had a great weekend of eating, packing, and looking at all these familiar sights that we both used to frequent, possibly even bumping into each other without realising it, and generally wallowing in nostalgia.
Sunday came and it was just a few hours before we were due to leave. By then, we were ecstatic at the fact that we would probably be able to flee from Melbourne without any uncomfortable confrontations. And that was when Erica got the call from Paul. It turns out that he had been staking out her apartment from across the street for one or two days. I can’t remember. He was hiding in his car watching for Erica to come and go from the apartment. I think we both shit ourselves at this point because he might have seen her coming and going with me, but it turns out that he didn’t see either of us.
He told Erica that he was not going to let her leave without talking to her face to face, telling her what he had to say, and trying to change her mind. And so she relented and went downstairs to talk to him. In the meantime, Emily and I were packing things and getting to know each other. Just chatting and talking about the situation, about each other, about Erica, and about life. It gave me the opportunity to spend a little one on one time with her and that’s always a fruitful thing.
Over an hour later, Erica came back and as one could expect, she was a ball of tears. Everything went as well as could be expected given the circumstances. He tried to change her mind, tried to win her back, but unfortunately it just wasn’t enough. The ship had sailed and she did all she could to reassure him that though she still loved him, she just couldn’t see a future together. I really felt sorry for Paul as I think it took a lot of balls to do what he did, and respect him for fighting for what he believed in. I wish it could have been otherwise but unfortunately cest la vie.
And so, we left for Sydney in the knowledge that all loose ends had finally been tied and that we can now officially acknowledge what we had as a relationship. All was finally right in the world…. or so we thought.
Now, I’ve said this to many friends over the years. Men and women alike, do NOT go digging if you’re afraid of what you may find. Sometimes you snoop, you lose. It can be better to just let sleeping dogs lie and avoid sating your curiosity just because. On occasion, ignorance can truly be bliss.
Apparently, leaving it be was not enough for Paul. One day when he was over at Emily’s, he saw her communicating on MSN to Erica. When Emily went off to take a shower, he took it upon himself to go snooping through her MSN chat logs and that was when he found out about me. About us. And that was when the shit hit the fan. He contacted Erica and all hell broke loose. He found out about the cheating, he found out about the lying, he found out about much of what transpired behind his back during our time together.
And he unleashed it all on Erica. Now normally I have much sympathy for Paul’s situation, but that all went out the window when I discovered what he did. Basically no one has the right to invade the privacy of another. And in such a circumstance that you do, you have no right to confront the other person with it so blatantly. You can use it to your advantage, but in my view, your wrong in violating another’s privacy takes away from your position when confronting the other party.
I admit, I have done it, but though I used the information I discovered to come to certain conclusions or to affect my course of actions, I never used it directly against my partner. But I’ll post about that at a later date when I talk about my relationship with my ex.
In a way, it’s like an illegal wire tap or surveillance operation. Unless it’s done through the proper channels, to be conducted with a warrant, evidence gleaned from the operation may not be admissible in court. And I think along those same lines with any evidence gleaned from invasion of privacy.
Paul’s confrontation with Erica led to a complete breakdown of their friendship. Understandably so, it’s hard not to be jaded, angry, disenchanted, and hurt when you find out that not only had your partner has been cheating on you with someone else, in your mind, she had also left you for someone else. I’ve been there, it sucks. His snooping was wrong, but I understand his reaction. And so Erica’s wish for them to remain friends never came to pass. He’s basically blacklisted her from his life.
Even now Erica still loves him, wishes the best for him, and wishes that they could still remain friends, as do I with my ex. But that may or may not happen, only time will tell, and only time will heal. And so, we are a almost at the end of the story. There’s only one more part remaining, and that will be the final wrap up. A summary of what happened to the group, what I’ve learnt from this whole saga, and where I am right now. It’s been a long journey packed with excitement, loaded with highs and lows, and one which brought before me the girl of my dreams.
Many lessons have been learnt, and those that didn’t kill me have indeed made me stronger. I’ve learnt about those whom are your true friends, and those whom masquerade as them. But most importantly I’ve learnt to fight for the things that I truly believe in. And it fills me with pride to look back upon those stories and remember about how hard I fought for love….. and won.