Another day still sick, another day still home from work. The mountain of work that awaits me is probably so large that should it be a real mountain you could offer a Nepalese Sherpa a million dollars to help you climb it and he’d still be like “Nah fuck it, I’m going home”. I still have this dry persistent cough and fell as week as a kitten. If Megan Fox tried to take advantage of me right now I simply wouldn’t have the strength to fend her off….

I was actually going through old photos and deciding what to catch up on when I realised that I had already processed the photos for the next HK/Macau/China post and just didn’t get around to posting them. So that it’s makes it easy. So Sanya Day 2 it is. Man, at this rate it’s going to take like a year before I finish diarising the entire trip… Thankfully, I’ve waited so long to post about it that my memory is mostly a blur and so it will allow me to just skimp on the details and make for a speedier post!

Yes, Sanya. Home to not much at all and the resort we stayed at had arguably the worst buffet on Earth. It’s not often I call a buffet terrible but this one flirts dangerously close to the border. With a pretty poor selection of food on offer and that limited selection being poorer still in quality, it’s lucky for them we didn’t have any other accessible food alternatives close by. Today the kids (Erica, Emily, and moi), demanded a day of doing bugger all. The initial plan had been to come to the resort to relax but we hadn’t done any of that whatsoever the previous day. By relaxing we meant just lazing by the pool all day with no itinerary to follow.


Worst buffet ever…

To our surprise, Erica’s Uncle said he wanted to go scuba diving and made enquiries about it! Now we didn’t think this would ever happen as Erica’s parents have actually forbidden their kids from Scuba diving. The reason for this is due to the fact that they know someone whom had a daughter that drowned in a Scuba diving incident whilst out in the open water. So naturally it’s all a bit too close to home for them. They have no idea that Erica and I both dive and for the sake of keeping up appearances, and their peace of mind, just act as if we can’t dive.

So it’s much to our surprise that her dad agreed to let us all go on an introductory dive. I mean, intro dives are fairly boring but at least this gives us the chance to see what the world of Sanya looks like beneath the surface. But on top of that, hopefully we’ll be able to use this as a springboard to get him used to the idea of us diving and how safe it actually is in the broader scheme of things. So Erica’s Uncle, his partner, Emily, Erica, and myself all signed up for the intro dive course. Whilst this was happening the in-laws just bummed around the apartment instead.

Great! So Erica explained to the course instructors that we already have our dive licenses and so they don’t have to bother with the whole equipment orientation/familiarisation thing in the pool *yawn* So whilst the others did all that, Erica just sunned herself whilst I took photos for the others.


Now they don’t recommend taking any cameras on the dive boat that would take us out to the dive site as apparently Chinese have pretty sticky fingers. They say they don’t recommend bringing *anything* whatsoever as it may go missing. That’s some nice faith in humanity right there. So I decided against bringing my underwater camera and it’s a good thing I didn’t as I found out later. Doing an introduction dive in China was always going to be an interesting experience for me, and not of that involving being underwater. Why? Because an intro dive is all about instruction and guess what language the instructors speak in? Yes you guessed it…. Swahili. No wait… I meant Mandarin! Man… I always get those two languages mixed up.

Basically because manpower is so incredibly cheap, intro dives here are done on a 1 to 1 basis. 1 instructor to one student. Yikes! Imagine how much this would cost any dive company back in the ciivilised world! Anyway, from the moment I donned my gear and jumped into the water, I could tell my instructor started getting a tad flustered. I couldn’t understand a word he was saying nor his gesticulations at what he wanted me to do. I eventually yelled across the water at Erica to translate and tell him that I have an Advanced Open Water license. That’s when he nodded, swam over to where Erica and her instructor were, and started chatting non-stop to her instead. Nice…

Really friendly people, I’m just glad I knew how to dive already!!! So basically he just dived and I followed.

The dive experience here, not to sugar coat anything, was shit. Visibility was absolutely awful with the waters murky and full of floating sediment or brown floaty bits. At the risk of sounding gross, you know how after having a session of explosive diahorrea and after you flush, the water still remains a slight tinge of brown with tiny little floaty bits in it? Well it’s like swimming in that. Hey, that didn’t sound gross at all! Man I gifted wordsmith!!

All it all, it was a massive time waster but in a sense I’m glad I did it as I’d probably always be wondering what it would have been like. As much as intro dive sites are generally quite crap in general, some googling has taught me that Sanya isn’t really a great place to go diving as there’s not that much to see at all.


Curly Fries

Club Sandwiche

With the only thing planned for the day, we could finally get down to doing the relaxing thing. It’s mid-winter here in China and so the pool water isn’t exactly the most pleasurable of places to be. I jumped in for a short swim but it was pretty cold. Thankfully, the winter her is still very mild which allowed her to chill on the sun beds without freezing our asses off. Point to note, hardly anyone here wears a bikini. Once again, it’s conservative (read boring and prudish) culture at work. Erica kept getting stares aplenty from anyone and everyone when she walked around in her bikini down at the small but still bustling beachfront. She may as have been naked from the looks she was getting. Old China people are perves… they really don’t know the meaning of subtle! You know, you could at least TRY not to look like you’re staring at someone’s boobs!

Anyway we lazed around for a few hours being everyone joining up to have a snack at the pool bar, then retreating back to the apartment to get changed and ready for dinner. I finished first and just wondered around the resort taking random photos of the place.





A smog shrouded sunset…







For dinner, the driver recommended a restaurant to us. Again, my FIL and his boring love for seafood resulted in us ending up at another seafood restaurant. We really should have learnt a lesson from the dodgy seafood place from the day before as this one turned out to be just as bad, if not worse. From the outside it all looked pretty good. The restaurants were all located on these large floating platforms out on the water which were joined to the mainland by a narrow bridge. It all looks pretty good until you get closer to it.

Once you do, you start to realise that that Sanya people REALLY REALLY don’t know how to take care of their live seafood that they intend for people to put into their mouths!! The state of the seafood here once again was absolutely terrible!!!! We opted for the things that looked like they had the smallest chance of killing as. The quality of the dinner as a whole was pretty sub-standard. At least the day before, lunch turned out to be quite the deceivingly tasty meal. Here, it was pretty rank through and through. Couldn’t wait to leave fast enough.

The Hongsha Marine Dragonboat Restaurant

The walkway

Awww… cute widdle mommy cuttlefish with all her widdle babies

Santa Pufferfish??? What the hell?? Whomever orders this must have a complete aversion to living…


Moray Eel???


Steamed Prawns

Clams

Bittergourd I think?

Eggplant with minced pork

Local vege

Absolutely terrible fried rice

Dodgy steamed fish

Let’s get the F outta here already!

Roadside fruit stalls

And on the way back we stopped by a whole cluster of roadside food stalls so the MIL could pick up some fresh fruit. All up, today was more like it. Sometimes, doing nothing is doing something that’s the most worth doing. Thankfully however, this would be our last day at Sanya because if I had to stay here any longer I’d probably go bonkers. Probably not a bad place to go to if you’re only like a short distance away and it’s during the warmer part of the year. But for any stay longer than a few days, my mind would probably take a side excursion down to crazy town…