Well it’s been quite a while since I’ve done a J Town chapter. I think I last posted about the saga right before our New Zealand trip and I never quite got back into it! I guess at the time it was easier to post about whatever/whenever as I had finished up with my job and Erica was still working, and so had plenty of time alone at home. Since then, we’ve been so busy doing things and jetting all over the place! As fun as it was, they left me with a huge blogging backlog!
Anyway just to ease back into it here’s just a relatively short one before I get to all the grim and nasties of our eventual move from Melbourne to Sydney. Looking back, I just can’t help but see more and more visual cues and warning bells that things were just not going to work. Actually…. not so much that things wouldn’t work but more so that things wouldn’t be easy. These things on further reflection were more a reflection of her character and how any possible relationship she would have with anyone would be doomed to fail, as opposed to anything localised to our relationship itself.
One of those things was the acknowledgement of my Birthday. Now I don’t care for my Birthday, it really doesn’t mean that much to me. My parents never celebrated my Birthday beyond my early teens and even then it was just a token family dinner out when they did. No presents no gifts because they weren’t in a very good financial position. I understood this and I loved them irregardless.
On the other hand, I always try to go out of my way and bust my hump to do something special and surprise my partner on her special day. I remember for one of her birthdays I spent the week telling her that if she wants to do anything that she’ll have to plan it herself and I’ll just bankroll it. Dinner, presents, whatever. To her credit J is a pretty simple girl and doesn’t demand anything of me either (except perhaps my soul), which makes me want to give her the world even more so. So she kept saying that she’s happy to stay home and do nothing. I told her that’s fine with me, but if she wants to have dinner just organise and the evening will be totally up to her. Ahh classic misdirection… my modus operandi.
The night before her birthday, which was a Friday night, I told her to pack her bags because the next morning we’re going away for the weekend. And so off we went, I did not give her any clues as to what we were doing. We headed out towards the direction of the Yarra Valley and as we passed a sign saying Healesville Wildlife Sanctuary, she asked me if I was going to take her there as unfortunately she’s been there before. I feigned a look of being crestfallen and told her unfortunately so. But that I didn’t know and thought she liked animals.
She kissed me and told me that it’s okay, she appreciated the gesture, and that she would still enjoy it. We headed onwards to our accommodation in vineyard county and I told her that we’ll check it first, leave our bags, then head onto the wildlife sanctuary. When we arrived in the bedroom I told her that I’m sorry she’s disappointed, but that I still hopes she enjoys the seeing the sanctuary…. from 10000 vertical feet!!!
Yep, I’ve arranged for her to be pushed out of a plane. Sound familiar? 😛 Except this time, we would both be jumping! Like my proposal to Erica, she didn’t have much time to prepare for it at all as we had to be at Coldstream airfield in about an hour. And jumped we did which was awesome fun!!!
Anyway, that night after a great dinner, I gave her another part of her Bday pressie, which was that little blue box that women love and was to be the only Tiffany’s gift I’ve ever bought anyone. Man… Tiffany’s is like the biggest waste of money. You pay all that money to get something which looks like it could be from any run of the mill jewelry shop but at like 10x the price. Ridiculous…
With the skydiving and necklace out of the way, I told her we’d better get an early night. Because we have to be up at 5am for Hot Air Ballooning! That was to be the last and final part of my birthday surprise to her. Floating high above the vineyards in blissful silence was a wonderful new and romantic experience plus a gorgeous champagne brekky to cap it off.
Yep, between that, a surprise lunch at Tetsuya’s, and various other birthday celebrations, I’ve always made sure she felt special and treasured. Now every year I told her I don’t need nor want anything for my birthday and that’s basically true. But deep down of course I’m secretly hoping that she’s planned something just to show that she’s thinking of me. Through all those 5 years I never received anything nor had a single celebration from her at all… not even a single lunch or dinner. 2 of those years she even forgot it was my birthday, and one of those years my parents forgot as well…. Boy was I sad that day….
Another HUGE warning sign for me was that whilst J was in Korea, I joined a cell group for the first time in my life. I’ve been going to church my entire life but never joined a cell or bible study group because I thought they were all about as interesting as math homework. With J in Korea, I decided to try something new and broaden my horizons and so I did, and really came to develop myself spiritually. When I first started the leaders of my group asked me to write down in a book something about me that I wanted to pray for. As silly as it sounds I wrote down a block that has been plaguing me my entire life, which without going into too much detail, and as ridiculous as it sounds, was a singing block of sorts.
It’s something which I had tried to over come for about 15 years with no success and so I’ve given up all hope of overcoming it. Anyway, again without going into too much detail this 15 year block was spiritually smashed in a massive way that left me in a welping ball of tears (the group leaders too)during a 3 day church camp out at Wilsons Promontory. After that I wanted to become heavily involved in the church and for the first time ever started to become one of those overzealous young christians that just want to spend all their free time with god and the church.
When I told J about this on her arrival back from Korea, instead of being happy, she issue me with a warning much to my surprise. I mean, she’s a so called Christian too. But she told me that if I choose to follow the path of all those other “crazy churchy types”, she couldn’t be with me any more. That I can go and develop and enhance my faith but to keep it all in check and not change from who I am now. Talk about blowing the wind out of my sails…. I can’t believe I still stayed with her after this.
Me smiling, or perhaps there lack of, was another topical hotspot prone to flare ups. She would always bitch at me in public about why I’m not smiling or talking to her, and whenever I got blindsided by this I’d go “Huh?”. It would come out of absolutely no where… walking to our destination, standing at a set of lights… you name it. I’d be in a perfectly sunny mood and suddenly get whopped with the smiley thing. Go figure… after many battles I’ve gave up trying to argue that one. She used to also accuse me of not talking to her enough when I got back from work whilst she’d yammer on about her day at Uni. I mean… c’mon! Work is work is work!!! It’s all largely the same and largely boring!!! Uni is just one big social adventure full of gossip and good times!!! Sheesh!!!
As silly as it was, I endeavored to smile more in whatever future relationship I happened to be in. So that if I’m feeling happy, my partner would usually be able to tell from looking at me. I try to now be more expressive with both word and expression and hopefully Erica can see the fruits of that. Even though I’m not smiling all the time, I hope that I’m smiling most of the time. Because of all J’s lunacy I’ve said to myself that I never want to have my future children or spouse look at me and not know what I’m feeling, to think I’m in a bad mood and be afraid to approach me when I’m actually not. It’s something I’m still working on
To Erica, sorry for being a moody bitch this afternoon when we went to pick up your mum from Mount Elizabeth Hospital. I love you and it was my bad…. *muacks*
And lastly…. the fights we had playing The Sims 2. I can’t imagine any other couple having the fights that we did! Silly as it sounds, we both play Sims 2 on our respective PC’s and we both had characters named after ourselves. We both also had characters of the opposite sex named after each other that we had to try to hook up with. So to be clear about it, our computers weren’t hooked up, but we had separate instances on each one running with us playing ourselves, trying to live with our versions of our partner that we each separately created.
As anyone whom has played the Sims would know, other computer controlled characters come along like neighbours and you are supposed to interact and build relationships with them. Naturally, as a guy, I try to “woohoo” as the game calls it with as many of my female neighbours as possible! heh…. woohoo….
I remember when I first turned to J and exclaimed triumphantly that I had finally managed to boink my neighbour in all it’s censored mosaic’d glory. Instead of laughing along or playing along with mock jealousy, she genuinely hit the roof! She just went all Patrick Bateman (i.e psycho) on my ass, accusing me of cheating on her and just being an all round prick. Ooookay……. *slowly steps backwards with hands up* Ever since then, she would make cutting or sarcastic remarks whenever I played…. naturally I soon stopped. I mean really… REALLY…. What… the… fuck???!!!
So there you go…. more examples of some rather bizarre behaviour. All the warning signs were there from early on and I still can’t for the life of me figure out why I took the big step of asking her to move to Sydney with me…. to bring her onto MY turf. Actually, I know why. I brought her back to Sydney because I believed in us (god knows why) and I wanted to marry her (again, god knows why). Through our relationship we had always agreed that Sydney would be the place where we would end up and so it just seemed to be the next logical and natural step in our relationship.
And as you’ll see in the next chapter, J must have been spiking my meals throughout the entire course of the relationship with crazy pills because almost everything she did in Sydney seemed to point the other way…. way way the other way…