Now I’m wondering if anyone out there can help me out. I know there’s quite a number of you whom have a fairly high level of edumacation under their belt so I wish to solicit your help. What’s the aural equivalent of “Sodomy”?

So just to explain it a little. You know the term “Sodomy” right, you know… where a person is getting absolutely cornholed by what is generally assumed to be a blunt object. Where the membrane around ones rectum undergoes numerous micro-tears and for the inexperienced, this I can only surmise would feel like something akin to having a war-bound naval vessel driven full steam ahead straight up your A hole…

Well what is the term used that would describe the same feeling but instead of taking it in the rear, you’re taking it in the ear.

Because having to listen to an infant screaming at the top of their lungs in an MRT carriage during peak hour where you’re all packed in like sardines for the entire ride home…. well that’s what it feels like. It feels like my ear is being raped. Honest to god raped. It’s like my ear took a short cut home down a dark alley, got ambushed by a *insert racial minority*, had it’s pants pulled down, and then had a throbbing member of such size that even the viking god Odin himself would have been green with envy rammed straight up the middle.

I mean, it’s not that I’m not compassionate and all. I have feelings too… but lets face the facts. I didn’t see the kid being shanked with a rusty screwdriver or her dropping her ice cream on the floor so where’s the damn fire???

Public Transport… fuck yeah!