If guys had to add one more thing on their wish list of big boys toys, after a motorcycle, sports coupe, lightsaber, Nerf nuke, and a huge set of fake tits (not me though), it would be a boat.

Now I’m not talking about tinnies, dinghys, or any other glorified floating bathtub that is likely to capsize when a large 2 legged whale (species: homopotamus fattimus) jumps into the water. I’m talking about a floating poonani platform capable of being propelled through the water at speeds. There is something that is just so inherently sexy about boats. It could be due to the constant media bombardment of busty bikini babes draping themselves all over various sea vessels like sex starved mermaids, or it could be all the porn that was filmed on boats floating off the coast of the Seychelles… I don’t know. But either way, boats are tres sexy.

Water is an amazing substance. Bodies of it provide us with such sustenance and pleasure. By drinking it, it allows us to live. By churning it, it provides us with energy. By diving below it, it allows us to explore. By skipping atop it, it allows us to travel. And by splashing it, it allows us to see through clothing.

Precious H20… I just can’t get enough of you. Yesterday, we decided to have a day out on the water. Papa had just gotten his Galstron, and Falcon his Haines, and yesterday was a perfect day to take them out for a spin. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping… it was a glorious day. Unless you were stuck at home hemorrhaging crack sweat in the Western Sydney heat.

The Falconboat

Chasing down Papa

Just being out on the water and hooning, responsibly, down river is just so fun and relaxing. Chasing after Papa’s boat and dropping a line for a spot of fishing. I sadly forgot to bring my boardies so there was no diving in for a swim for me. We stopped by the Como pier to pick up some takeaway lunch, before dropping anchor upriver, tying our boats together, and having lunch, a spot of fishing, and a swim for the others.

Papa and I both caught a couple of Breams and Whiting, and Falcon a squid. After Papa left, Falcon and I were gonna find another spot to drop our lines, but ended up coming across a stranded boat with a busted motor whom was hailing down for help. So that was pretty much the end of our day.

We helped them out by towing them back to the ramp which, due to the extremely slow pace at which we had to tow them, took 1.5 hours. But no matter, there’s always next time. Hopefully we can get back out on the water again next weekend before I leave.

I’ve decided that when I’m back in Australia permanently, which is probably at least another good 5-10 years from now, I’m buying a damn boat. A nice little bowrider to go fishing and cruising in. I’ll gladly sacrifice my bike for it. Big enough to relax in, small enough to leaved parked out the front of your house so there’s no mooring costs. Sensational! Oh, and I’ll also need a rifle to take potshots at those annoying jetski riders. Grrr… they’re like flies they are. Buzzing around everywhere.

I didn’t know they were so cheap. A used one in great nick costs the name as a new R1 or GSXR or Fireblade, just for reference. Sweet!

An awesome day it was, cheers to Falcon and Papa for bringing me out. Falcon and I were staring at the empty seats in the bow saying to each other, “There’s something missing from this picture.”. “Yep, boobs.”. Next time Falcon… next time. And next time, I’ll remember to wear sunblock too. Fucking ouch!

Remember the sunblock next time dumbass!

South Sydney Vice: The Getaway of Papa Z