I was up at Castle Towers today just getting some errands done, and doing a spot of shopping, when I came to a rather somber realisation. Guys spend an alarmingly large percentage of their lives waiting for women. Very unproductive time that is spent tapping their feet, checking their watches, gripping their steering wheel in frustration, and all the while just crying to God about why the hell this is so.
Although the fact never directly dawned on me before, it just clicked in my mind how much faster I get things done when I’m not with a girl. As in, when I’m by myself or with another guy. I’m not saying that I enjoy the experience more, I’m just saying that I’m far more productive and efficient given X amount of time.
This post will in all likelihood result in my public lynching (or blue balls for the next year), but well, it wouldn’t be me if I let something like that get in the way of me running my mouth (or fingers) 😛
One of the most frustrating parts of being involved in a relationship is the constant waiting. As a guy, I’m always left with a long wait for a girl:
– When we’re supposed to meet at a certain place at a certain time.
– When I’m in the car, picking them up, and they are still no where near ready.
– When we live together and we’re due to leave the house at the agreed time, and I’ve repeated the time that we have to leave repeatedly, but somehow, she’s still not ready and I’m left standing by the front door.
– When I forget that girls walk at a pace that, no matter how slow we try to walk, is still slower. And I have to stop and wait for them to catch up.
– When I’m stuck on an escalator or elevator because girls don’t like taking the stairs.
– When she’s ducking in and out of seemingly every store in sight
– When she says she’ll be quick and takes one item into the change room and, for a reason I’ll never understand, comes out only about 15 mins later.
– When she needs to pick up anything relating to cosmetics
– When she walks into any Watsons / Guardian / Sasa / Sephora / Mecca / etc etc etc.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitching about all those things. Well, maybe some mild complaining, but I’ve by and large come to accept all those qualities about women. I guess the attributes bug me sometimes as not only do I generally pride myself on my punctuality, but that I always do the things I do as quickly as possible. I shop quick and walk quicker.
For many girls, shopping is about the journey. For most guys, shopping is about the end result. The only type of shopping of which I enjoy the journey is grocery shopping. And I really don’t know why that is.
So today, whizzing around the shopping center from one end to another and back again, getting done all the things I needed to do, I felt so free. No shorty wife, no shorty wife legs, no peeking and popping, no lifts or escalators, no waiting and meeting points. Just straight in and out, bada bing bada boom.
Maybe this is the real reason why guys have always referred to their partners as the ol’ ball & chain. Hahaha… I kid I kid!!! You know I love you honeybuns!! *smoochiewoochies*
Please don’t be angry baby. Anyway if you are, your shorty pie legs won’t be able to catch me lolz. *runs*