Now this really didn’t warrant its own part, and its technically part of the diary, so well 1.5 it is.
Now many guys ask me why did I plan to propose in the way that I did, on the scale that I did, and to the extent that I went through to see it through. Now, I would love to say that it was because I love Erica so much that I wanted to move heaven and earth for her and even then that wouldn’t be enough. Or I could say that I did it because I wanted to corner her into saying yes. To strike a guilt trip so almightly huge that it would cost her many sweaty sleepless nights of guilt over how she crushed my heart like a fat kid crushes smarties between his teeth.
At the root of it all, the answer is that I’m a prankster. I love pranks, I live for them. Now, before you say “Hey thats not romantic!”, let me just clarify that this is the seed, and seeds need other things to help it grow. Which in this case are soppy things like love.
Most women have envisioned a fairytale wedding from when they were only a wee little princess. Along with dreams of being a fairytale princess wearing a tiara and having a pony, you women seem to enjoy sighing the sighs that you women do when you see a fancy fictional Hollywood wedding. Most women have dreamt of their perfect wedding for a long long time.
Now me, I’ve done something similar. But it wasn’t about the wedding, it was about the proposal. What is a proposal but just another chance to surprise (well it bloody well should be… in my books). To me, the proposal is the chance to pull off the ultimate prank. The ultimate act of surprise (well maybe a little short of dropping a spider on your sleeping partners face).
It is but a prank with a happy ending. And I don’t mean happy ending like “executive massages” have a happy ending. I mean that it’s smiles all rounds for all involved, and you both walk off happy into the sunset blissfully unaware that storm clouds are brewing in the distance signalling the impending approach of Bridezilla and the demise of sanity as you know it.
So no matter whom it was, a surprise proposal would have been in the works. Naturally the scale commesurate with just how strong my feelings are for the girl. So needless to say, Erica was always going to have something suitably massive in my eyes.
That was the seed, watered with love, affection, and fertilizer. Thats really important… fertilizer. I wanted to have a day that she would never ever forget, well that I would never forget either. Everytime I hear a story of another guy proposing in an unromantic way, my head screams “Why?!!”. I guess its not fair for me to judge others against my own subjective and personal views on things. Erica has seen me launch into many a one sided diatribe on how a guy could not capitalise on his proposal to wow his girl.
One of my pet hates are guys who don’t try. Lazy and selfish men who make all sorts of excuses not to do something special for their girl. Now I’m not sure how to phrase all this because I know its a touchy subject. That and that I’m suffering vertigo from the top of my high horse. But many asian girls I know suffer the same laziness and selfishness from their partners (definately not all mind you). And some of the bfs that I do know will take any excuse not to try. Now not all men are like this, but I mostly find its men of a certain cultural or racial background. I won’t specify which to spare fingers being pointed. *cough* asian *cough*.
I could rattle on about this all day, so I’ll quickly cite the flowers example. Why do men never buy flowers for their partners? The most common seems to be because they die, they don’t last. I never really bought into this line of reasoning. Why take your girl out to dinner then? Food only gets eaten and doesn’t last as long as a flower! Anyway a flower is not just a fading form of life but a way to make your woman happy. And isn’t that the goal of it? You know that it will make her happy, but you choose not to do it. Explain that! Makes no sense to me!
“Tell me what I can do to make you happy and I’ll do it!” they cry. Then when they find out, directly or indirectly, they come up with a catalog of excuses not to. Sigh… well… hopefully in time things will change across this spectrum of reasoning. I’m not exempt from this either… there are things which I know I should endeavour to change to make my partner happy. Life should be a constant journey of self improvement, especially life with a partner that you love. I know I should be more accepting and patient of her flaws… thats one. And I should try to endeavour to dance sober… because that would make her happy I know. Well baby… one day I’ll get there, I promise
Damn… I’ve railroaded myself. This has nothing to do with the original subject of this entry. So I shall end it here. Grrrr…. thread derailment is a crime.
I think thats it for now, will leave the rest of what I’m about to say for the upcoming sections which I’ve yet to compose. To me re-reading this it seems somewhat disjointed and not very flowing. I apologise. I’ve just had a long night playing 2 intense games of futsal, and we won our A grade grand final for the first time ever. Woohoo! So my mind isn’t exactly where it should be. And its late, and I’m tired, and I would like some cheese with my whine…